Drug Testing Myths

Using drugs affects who we are, how we interact with coworkers, friends, and family, and if left unchecked, can destroy the user both physically and financially.

Most employees don’t do drugs at work or home. However, there are some that do, and that number is increasing. Especially with marijuana legalization sweeping the nation.

Moreover, if they know a drug test is coming up, people resort to some pretty crazy schemes to “pass” it.

It’s a smoke screen

Employees and job applicants have tried for years to beat drug tests by obtaining a false negative result. Because who in their right mind would actually abstain long enough to pass a drug test naturally? We all know that masking any drugs in the system is the ultimate goal here, right?

At least, that appears to be the logic of a drug user.

There are three major drug tests that employers use for their drug-free or zero-tolerance protocols.

  • Urine
  • Hair follicle
  • Mouth swab

Do you want to know their methods to the madness for “passing” the test?

Just go with the flow

The urine test is the most widely used drug test. It has been since drug testing began back in the 1970s. Employees think they have a variety of ways to “get over” on their employers with a false negative result.

Flush your system

Drink lots and lots of water right up to test time, and you’ll pass. This may be a standard plan of attack, but it doesn’t work.

The best case scenario here is that the test comes back inconclusive. Inconclusive might sound good to the user. They assume the employer will reschedule the test.

However, most employers have their heads in the drug testing game, too. Drug policies already in place stating that a second test won’t get scheduled if there is an inconclusive result could ruin that plan.

Detox debunked

There are several so-called tried and true methods to detox your system. They are said to rid the body of the metabolites that will show up on a drug test.

Goldenseal root has long been said to mask drugs in the system. You may be as surprised as I was to learn this myth’s origin. It was named as the herb used to mask strychnine in a murder victim’s system in a sci-fi novel by John Uri Lloyd. This novel got published around 1900!

The name of the novel is Stringtown on the Pike. It’s still on the market, but GoldenSeal shouldn’t be if the intended use is beating a drug test.

Niacin breaks down fatty substances in our blood. That coupled with the fact that THC is stored in the fat cells has given way to the myth that niacin will work on the fat cells and remove the metabolites. That is not true. Moreover, it could be a fatal fallacy because ingesting too much niacin will kill a person.

How about that for a dose of irony?

Vinegar and cranberry juice are also said to rid the urine of metabolites. Again, this is not true. However, it does mess with the pH balance and will alert the lab techs that something is up.

Oh, and just a little FYI here, drinking vinegar can cause explosive diarrhea.

Blech.

This could get a bit hairy

The hair follicle test is becoming more popular. The DOT plans to begin using this testing method for all regulated drug testing as soon as the new policy has made its way through the chain of command.

Is there a way to produce a false negative on these drug tests? There are those who say yes.

The long and short of it

Some think the easy fix would be to shave your head or go with a super short cut. Not so, if someone’s hair is too short, or bald, body hair can be used. They only need about an inch and a half to perform the drug test.

Moreover, if a person shows up for a hair test with no hair anywhere…

Well, let’s just say it might look a tiny bit suspicious.

Detox shampoos say they remove the metabolites in the hair. Not true. The metabolites are in the hair shaft. No amount of scrubbing is going to change that fact.

The Macujo method also involves soaking the hair with products found around the house. You start with warm water, add some Heinz (they specified Heinz) vinegar and massage down to the scalp. The next step is to add some Clear and Clean acne cream and massage that stuff into the scalp, too. Pop on a shower cap and let it all simmer under there for about half an hour. Wash your hair with a detox shampoo, rinse, find some Tide laundry detergent, wash your hair with that also, and voila!

Bring on the test.

I don’t see how all that stuff could have any effect, but I hope getting vinegar into your system by way of the pores in your skin won’t work the same as drinking the stuff. Blech.

There is another home remedy method called the Jerry G. Named after the inventor, of course. This method claims to reinvent your hair thoroughly. After reading up on the technique, I think I see why he anonymously went by G.

It involves bleaching your hair and then dying it with an ammonia-based permanent hair dye. After which, wash the hair with detox shampoo. Avoid blow dryers at all costs, because your hair “won’t be able to handle it right now.”

In ten days, repeat the entire process. On test day, wash your hair with a baking soda paste, wash it out with a detox shampoo, and air dry.

After all that, I’d think a person would be lucky not to show up for the drug test with a hair sample in hand.

Say “ahhh”

People swear by brushing your teeth, tongue, and cheeks vigorously just a few minutes before the test. However, your saliva is still in your mouth, so…

Then, there’s the eat the fattiest foods you can find myth. Since THC is drawn to fat cells, it will also bond with the fatty foods and hide in your stomach while you soak a swab with saliva.

What?

Also, people gargle and swish with multiple things including water, mouthwash, and even bleach.

We need to get the word out on that one.

I’m reasonably sure ingesting bleach can get you out of the test, but admitted to the hospital!

Mouth swab drug testing has become very advanced, making cheating this method impossible.

Just say no

Ultimately, the best way to pass a drug test is not to do drugs. Shocking, right?

We must continue to educate people about the dangers of drugs. Some companies are moving away from their zero-tolerance policy and are giving employees a second chance.

That is something to consider. Employees that test positive for a drug test, even ones that have tried one of the crazy ideas above in an attempt to fool their employers, could take that second chance and soar.

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    ผู้รักษาประตู :
    อาลีซง รังเซส แบเกร์,
    แอแดร์ซง , กัสซิโอ้
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    , ฟีลีปี โกชิญญู, วิลเลียน
    Striker : เนย์มาร์ , Gabriel Fernando
    de Jesus, โรแบร์ตู ฟีร์มีนู , โดกลัส
    กอสตา , ไทสัน เฟรด้า
    เป็นไงกันบ้างครับ รายชื่อผู้เล่นแต่ละคน ไม่เบากันเลยทีเดียวใช่ไหมครับ
    ต่อไปเรามารู้จักกับผู้เล่นที่ค่าตัวแพงที่สุดในโลกคนปัจจุบัน เนย์มาร์ แน่นอนว่า หัวใจหลักของSeleção
    Brasileira de Futebolชุดนี้ยังคงอยู่ที่ปีกยอดฝีเท้าคนนี้ และ แฟนๆก็ต่างรอดูกันว่า เนย์มาร์ ดา ซิลวา ซังตุส ฌูนีโยร์ จะพาทีมชาติบราซิลไปได้ไกลสักแค่ไหนในFIFA World Cupครั้งนี้
    O Scratch ถือเป็นหนึ่งทีมที่ทำผลงานน่าผิดหวังในศึกฟุตบอลโลก 2018 เมื่อพวกเขาถูกยกให้เป็นตัวเต็ง 1 ของรายการ แต่กลับหยุดฝันเพียงแค่รอบ 8 ทีมสุดท้ายเท่านั้น จากการพ่ายแพ้ให้กับ Rote Teufelด้วยแต้ม 1 ต่อ 2
    ในทัวร์นาเมนต์ที่รัสเซีย
    นั่นทำให้ ฟุตบอลทีมชาติ บราซิล Brazil ตกรอบน็อกเอาต์ ฟุตบอลโลก 4 ครั้งรวด 2018 – ไม่ชนะ เบลเยียม 1-2 (รอบก่อนรองชนะเลิศ), 2014 –
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    ฟุตบอลทีมชาติ บราซิล Brazil โฉมใหม่
    ไม่ว่าจะเป็นแค่ในเรื่องเทคนิคการเล่นเท่านั้นที่ถูกวิพากษ์วิจารณ์ แต่พฤติกรรมของ Neymar ที่ถูกยกให้เป็นดาวรุ่งของทีม ก็โดนด่าไม่น้อยเมื่อเขาพยายามสำออยทำเหมือนว่าบาดเจ็บดีดดิ้นเกินความเป็นจริงทุกครั้งที่โดนทำฟาวล์ จนถูกนำไปล้อเลียนกลายเป็นตัวตลกของคนทั่วโลกไปแล้ว
    อย่างไรก็ตาม ตีเต้ เทรนเนอร์ทีมชาติบราซิล ก็ยังคงได้รับความไว้เนื้อเชื่อใจให้อยู่ในตำแหน่งเดิมต่อไป เมื่อสหพันธ์ลูกหนังแซมบ้าประกาศชัดเจนว่ามีการต่อสัญญาคุมทีมยาวออกไปจนถึงศึกFIFA World Cup
    2022 ที่ประเทศกาตาร์แล้ว
    โรเจริโอ กาบ็อคโล่ ประธานบริหาร Pentacampeões เผยว่า “ซีบีเอฟ กำลังลงทุนในโปรเจกต์ระยะยาวด้วยการรับประกันว่าทีมงานด้านเทคนิคจะได้ทำทีมชาติเป็นระยะเวลา 6 ปีครึ่ง (หมายถึงนับตั้งแต่ที่ ตีเต้ เข้ามาคุมทีม ไปจนถึงศึก FIFA World Cup 2022) เราเชื่อว่าการวางแผนอย่างรอบคอบ และการลงมือทำอย่างสุขุมจะทำให้วงการbrazil national football teamได้ผลลัพธ์ตามที่เราคาดหวังไว้”
    ขณะที่ ตีเต้ กล่าวว่า “ประสบการณ์ในการคุมทีมช่วงแรกมันทำให้เกิดความไว้เนื้อเชื่อใจกัน ซึ่งมันจะถูกสะท้อนให้เห็นในขั้นต่อไป ในมุมมองของผมนั้น บราซิล ได้มอบเงื่อนไขให้เราว่าต้องสร้างบรรยากาศของความสามัคคีและความเป็นอันหนึ่งอันเดียวกันให้ได้ ซึ่งเราจะทำอย่างนั้นต่อไป มันเป็นความท้าทายครั้งยิ่งใหญ่ และเราก็รู้สึกดีใจที่ได้เผชิญหน้ากับความท้าทายนั้น เราจะให้ความสำคัญกับการแข่งและทัวร์นาเมนต์ต่างๆ ที่รออยู่”
    แม้จะได้รับความไว้วางใจจากผู้บริหารสมาคม แต่แน่นอนว่า ตีเต้
    ต้องรีบกอบกู้ศรัทธากลับมาจากเหล่าแฟนบอลให้ได้โดยเร็วที่สุด และโอกาสแรกของเขาก็มาถึงเมื่อขุนพล “เซเลเซา” มีโปแกรมอุ่นเครื่องกับ United States men’s national soccer team และ El Salvador ในช่วงเดือนกันยายนนี้ และได้มีการประกาศรายชื่อนักฟุตบอลออกมาเป็นที่เรียบร้อยแล้ว
    CBF มีคิวแข่งกับ ฟุตบอลชายทีมชาติสหรัฐ ที่นิวเจอร์ซีย์ วันที่ 7 กันยายน ก่อนเจอกับ ฟุตบอลชายทีมชาติสหรัฐ ที่วอชิงตัน ในอีก 4 วันถัดมา โดย เปเรยร่า ถูกเรียกตัวเป็นครั้งแรก หลังจากแหล่งข่าวออกมาเผยเมื่อวันพฤหัสบดีว่า Roberto Martínez กุนซือทีมชาติเบลเยียม สนใจที่จะดึงตัวดาวเตะ แมนยู ไปเล่นให้ “เบลเยียม” เช่นกัน
    เปเรยร่า เป็น 1 ใน 2 แข้ง Man U ร่วมกับ เฟรเดรีกู โรดรีกิส จี เปาลา ซังตุส ที่ถูก “เซเลเซา” เรียกตัว
    แต่ทว่าไม่มีชื่อของดาวเตะจากเพื่อนร่วมเมืองอย่าง เดอะซิติเซน อยู่ในทีมชุดนี้เลย
    เมื่อทั้ง เฟร์นันดู ลุยซ์
    โรซา

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